Stop yourself the moment you justify an abuser’s behaviour with, “but at least they don’t hit me,” or “but they’ve done it less lately,” or “it could be so much worse.”
The moment you think that, they’re in your head. They’ve gotten you to accept that abuse is the baseline for how life should be.
Reject that urge to justify your own abuse. This is not how life should be. You deserve respect.
This is so important.